Rachel Yohe

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MongoDB Announces Support for Punch Cards, Arrakis

MongoDB is excited to announce a groundbreaking expansion of our capabilities. Beginning today, April 1, MongoDB is expanding its support of programming languages like INTERCAL, FORTRAN, and even UNITYPER punch cards, as well as support for ultra-remote regions of the known universe with new subspace, faster-than-light (FTL) data transfer and networking protocols. Bringing vintage programming languages into the modern age Support for legacy programming languages presents a unique opportunity for our developers. INTERCAL, known for its quirkiness and obscurity, challenges developers with its unconventional syntax. Meanwhile, the experience many pioneers in computing gained by encoding data onto UNITYPER punch cards paved the way for the modern computing we know today, and supporting punch card languages underscores MongoDB’s long-standing commitment to honoring the rich heritage of computing history. We are thrilled to resurrect these relics of computing and, by doing so, to highlight the importance of developers in the past, present, and future. Expanding availability of MongoDB to the earth’s crust, the planet Arrakis (Dune), and beyond Following MongoDB’s long-standing tradition of pushing boundaries, we are also excited to announce the expanded availability of MongoDB Atlas to regions that were once thought unreachable. Beginning today, MongoDB Atlas will support even the most remote regions of the known universe. Whether you find yourself trapped in the Earth’s crust, or you’re riding on a Guild heighliner to harvest spice on the planet Arrakis, MongoDB will be there to support your data needs every step of the way. As part of this planned expansion, MongoDB will provide network connections to the center of the Earth using new types of heat-resistant polymers that can withstand the extreme temperatures of Earth’s molten core. Additionally, new subspace data transfer and networking protocols derived from advancements in quantum computing will allow low-latency applications to function across solar systems, galaxies, and parallel dimensions. ...APRIL FOOLS! Alright, alright, that’s enough, we’ll let you in on the joke—we won’t be supporting any vintage coding languages any time soon. While bringing back punch cards and riding sandworms might not be on MongoDB’s roadmap, we remain as committed as ever to supporting our developer community . No matter the future, developers will build it. Happy April Fools’ Day! For more developer updates, head to our Developer Center .

April 1, 2024